Santas Favorite Laughs, 11 Christmas Jokes to Brighten Your Holiday

Ho ho ho! Ready to jingle all the way to laughter? These festive Christmas jokes are guaranteed to have you chuckling harder than Santa’s belly shake. Warning: side effects may include excessive cheer, spontaneous caroling, and snort-laughing. Grab your eggnog, settle in, and let the holiday hilarity begin!

1. The Christmas Trap
   Mike sat at his desk, drumming his fingers, while his wife Janet struggled to hold back laughter from across the room. It was time for their annual Christmas prank.
   “Hey kiddo,” Mike said to his 20-year-old son Ryan, trying to sound somber. “I hate to tell you this, but… your mom and I are getting divorced.”
   “WHAT?” Ryan screeched, nearly choking on his breath. “You’re joking, right? You just posted pictures in matching Christmas sweaters!”
   “Dead serious. I can’t stand her cookbook collection anymore. Three hundred sugar cookie recipes are too much.” Mike paused. “Call your sister. I’m done talking about it.”
   Ryan immediately called his sister Ashley in Sydney. “Dad’s losing it! We’re flying home tonight to fix this!”
   Mike and Janet high-fived, grinning ear to ear. “Works every year,” Mike chuckled. “And they’re paying for their own tickets!”
   “Do you think they’ll realize this was the same trick we pulled for Thanksgiving?” Janet asked.
   “Nah,” Mike replied. “We’ll save it for Easter next.”
2. The Christmas Angel
   Eleanor, a postal worker, opened a letter addressed to “God.” The shaky handwriting read:
   “Dear God, I’m Martha, 85 years old. Yesterday, someone stole my purse with my entire pension—$120. I was saving it for Christmas dinner with my friends. If you could spare a miracle, I’d be grateful. Love, Martha.”
   Eleanor shared the letter, and her coworkers quickly gathered $116 to help Martha.
   A week later, another letter arrived:
   “Dear God, thank you for the $116. The dinner was amazing! P.S. Someone must’ve skimmed $4 at the post office. You might want to look into that. Love, Martha.”
3. North Pole Chaos
   The North Pole was in disarray.
   “Code Red!” squeaked Junior Elf Timothy. “Four senior elves down with candy cane flu! The toy line looks like abstract art!”
   To make matters worse, Mrs. Claus announced her mother was visiting for Christmas with her infamous fruitcakes. Meanwhile, Rudolph organized a reindeer strike, demanding premium carrots, and Prancer had eloped with a moose named Bruce.
   Santa trudged to load the sleigh when the floor gave way, spilling toys everywhere. Exhausted, he opened the door to find a tiny angel carrying a massive Christmas tree.
   “Special delivery!” she said cheerily. “Where would you like me to stick it?”
   And that’s how Christmas trees ended up with angels on top.
4. Heavenly Volume
   Tommy knelt beside his bed on Christmas Eve, praying loudly.
   “DEAR GOD, I REALLY WANT AN XBOX AND A FIRE-BREATHING DINOSAUR…”
   “Dude!” his older brother Jack interrupted. “God isn’t deaf!”
   Tommy smirked. “Yeah, but Grandma’s hearing aid is, and she’s shopping tomorrow.”
5. The Shopping Surprise
   Linda lost Dave in the mall chaos and called him.
   “Where are you?” she demanded.
   “Honey, remember that jewelry store you loved? The one where we couldn’t afford the sapphire necklace?” Dave said.
   Linda’s heart melted. “Yes! You didn’t…?”
   “I’m next door at the dollar store. Gift bags are three for a buck!”
6. The Carol Critic
   “Emma, you should join the Christmas choir!” Charlie teased his sister.
   “Really? You like my singing?” she asked, hopeful.
   “Nah,” Charlie grinned. “But I’ll know exactly which day to wear noise-canceling headphones!”
7. The Gift Switch
   Tom bragged at the office Christmas party. “Got my wife diamond earrings!”
   “Didn’t she want an SUV?” a coworker asked.
   “She did, but good luck finding a fake Ford Explorer that’ll fool her mom!”
8. The Budget Tree
   “Dad, can we get a real tree this year?” Jimmy begged.
   Frank returned from the lot with a perfect tree, grinning.
   “That was fast!” Jimmy said.
   Frank winked. “The guy gave me a discount when I started measuring trees with my axe.”
9. The Biblical Bird
   Three brothers bragged about their gifts to their mother.
   Richie: “I built her a mansion!”
   Steve: “I got her a Rolls-Royce with a chauffeur!”
   Joe: “I bought a parrot trained to recite the Bible!”
   Their mom’s thank-you notes read:
   “Richie, the mansion is too big.
   Steve, the driver is boring.
   Joe, the chicken was delicious!”
10. The Santa Hotline
    Sophie’s mom had enough of her fighting with her sister. “That’s it! I’m calling Santa!” she declared, handing the phone to Sophie.
    Uncle Bob, pretending to be Santa, boomed, “Sophie, no presents for bad sisters!”
    Sophie hung up and smirked. “Santa said Madison’s the real troublemaker. Oh, and Mom, he knows about your cookie stash!”

Share these jokes and spread the Christmas cheer. Laughter is the best gift of all!