An elderly couple, Bert and Edna, are sitting on the porch swing
On a quiet Sunday evening, Bert and Edna—married fifty-five years—rocked gently on their porch swing, each cradling a cup of lukewarm tea as squirrels duked it out over a stray Cheeto and birds welcomed the setting sun with song. With a contented sigh, Edna turned to Bert. “Let’s talk about our bucket lists.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Bucket lists? I’m eighty-seven, Edna. My only goal these days is waking up tomorrow and remembering where I put my pants.”
She laughed. “Come on. Let’s each pick one thing we’ve always wanted to do before it’s too late.”
He considered it. “Alright—skydiving has always been a dream of mine.”
Edna’s eyes went wide. “Skydiving? You nearly fainted tying your shoes last week!”
He shrugged with a grin. “Well, if I fall out of the plane, at least I’ll land in the neighbor’s garden and haunt him properly.”
They both laughed, and Edna nodded. “So that’s yours. What about me?”
Her gaze turned mischievous as she leaned closer. “Remember how your recliner always leaned left for twenty years?”
Bert frowned. “I blamed the dog—he limped for weeks!”
Edna chuckled. “After you spilled grape soda on my new curtains in ’89, I jammed a spatula under the chair. And the remote that always switched to the Hallmark Channel? I slipped a penny in the battery compartment—every Christmas romance you wanted.”
He gasped. “You’re a monster!”
She sipped her tea serenely. “Slow-motion snowball fights and mistletoe deserve payback, sweetie.”
Bert’s eyes twinkled. “Well, then, I have a confession too. Do you remember those Saturday ‘fishing trips’ I took for ten years?”
Edna frowned. “You don’t fish.”
“With pride,” Bert said. “I went bowling—and took home four trophies I’ve hidden behind the water heater.”
She stared. “So that lawnmower trophy I threw from the car was fake?”
They both erupted in laughter.
Edna replaced the recliner, and Bert checked skydiving off his list. Together they built a new Saturday ritual: bowling, watching each other’s backs, and collecting genuine trophies of their own.
Years later, after nearly sixty years of marriage, Bert and Edna reached the Pearly Gates together. Their bodies had finally given out after a lifetime of healthy living, mindful diets, and daily exercise. St. Peter greeted them with a tour of their heavenly home—complete with gourmet kitchen, Jacuzzi, pool table, and a championship golf course with angel caddies. Everything was free, from the finest cuisine to the green fees.
When Bert asked about low-fat, low-cholesterol options, St. Peter laughed: “No need to worry about that here—eat whatever you like!”
“That’s all your fault!” Bert suddenly yelled, pointing at Edna. “If it weren’t for your paleo chicken and bran muffins, we’d still be on Earth!”
Edna just smiled, and together they entered eternity—still teasing, still in love, and forever the perfect pair.